Completed another journal and started a new one.
I wrote this on the first page as a kind of mantra:
There are no obstacles, only the ones you set yourself.
Compassionate Communication.
Speak Your Truth
from your Heart Center.
Freedom is letting go of:
attachments,
ego,
judgement.
Learning is:
to think for yourself.
Your life and your experiences are your greatest lessons.
The best advice for you is what you find within...
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
You Rock, Rock
Beach diaries
September 15, 2010
At. The. Beach. Rode my bike to the estuary. The ocean is a turquoise blue with strips of white along the shore. The naked sand, in some places, are untouched by footprints. There are only swirly lines left like the wind traced designs with invisible fingers. A lone figure walks along the coast getting smaller by the minute. The clouds, just above the horizon, form a misty wall preventing any view of the islands. Flocks of birds in their infamous V-formations fly above me and beyond. So beautiful. So free. The garden of palm trees clustered together like sentinels remain firm in the background. They reassure me for some unknown reason.
The Rock that is my regular perch is the perfect place for stillness, reflection, sharing or just sitting. I watch shadows of birds in the sky glide alongside the uneven terrain as I try to capture everything I see before me.
The Sea is never still and yet has been a mirror for me many a time. In its vastness, it is a multitude of colors and movement. Greens, blues. Sparkles of white and a hint of silver. Constant. Always changing. Never to be the same ever again. Each wave is like a liquid snowflake of a memory or dream.
I fly down the path, using the Wind to gain momentum. Surfers riding waves can be seen on the peripheral. My bike and my hair are just a flash of red and pink. Clouds shaped like spaceships and dragons creep slowly across the sky. Then, it hits. I feel the urge to slow down and watch things more carefully. I hunker down like a child does. The bench hollers at me and I acquiesce. I allow the sunlight to envelop me warming my toes and insides. I notice cracks in the concrete along the wall and on the walkway. A bee flies close and I am disappointed for a split second that I am not a flower. I watch a woman unintentionally perform a trick by magically looping her purse strap into her scarf. As she walks, she tries to untangle herself of the predicament. I smile.
It is in these instances, where Life gives you a view through its open Window, that all you do is laugh and sigh with contentment...just grateful to be present for those perfect moments of Now.
September 15, 2010
At. The. Beach. Rode my bike to the estuary. The ocean is a turquoise blue with strips of white along the shore. The naked sand, in some places, are untouched by footprints. There are only swirly lines left like the wind traced designs with invisible fingers. A lone figure walks along the coast getting smaller by the minute. The clouds, just above the horizon, form a misty wall preventing any view of the islands. Flocks of birds in their infamous V-formations fly above me and beyond. So beautiful. So free. The garden of palm trees clustered together like sentinels remain firm in the background. They reassure me for some unknown reason.
The Rock that is my regular perch is the perfect place for stillness, reflection, sharing or just sitting. I watch shadows of birds in the sky glide alongside the uneven terrain as I try to capture everything I see before me.
The Sea is never still and yet has been a mirror for me many a time. In its vastness, it is a multitude of colors and movement. Greens, blues. Sparkles of white and a hint of silver. Constant. Always changing. Never to be the same ever again. Each wave is like a liquid snowflake of a memory or dream.
I fly down the path, using the Wind to gain momentum. Surfers riding waves can be seen on the peripheral. My bike and my hair are just a flash of red and pink. Clouds shaped like spaceships and dragons creep slowly across the sky. Then, it hits. I feel the urge to slow down and watch things more carefully. I hunker down like a child does. The bench hollers at me and I acquiesce. I allow the sunlight to envelop me warming my toes and insides. I notice cracks in the concrete along the wall and on the walkway. A bee flies close and I am disappointed for a split second that I am not a flower. I watch a woman unintentionally perform a trick by magically looping her purse strap into her scarf. As she walks, she tries to untangle herself of the predicament. I smile.
It is in these instances, where Life gives you a view through its open Window, that all you do is laugh and sigh with contentment...just grateful to be present for those perfect moments of Now.
Vegan Diaries...
September 14th 2010:
I woke up around noon and layed out in front of the heater as per ritual most mornings. I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat/drink first thing when I awoke but certain things kept popping up in my mind like a dream. Certain fruits and veggies kept floating towards me. Enticing and teasing me it seemed...
I stood up. Toe to heel. Walking w/ invisible high heels on. I was determined to make something yummy. Flashbacks of what I purchased from the farmer's market in Ojai came into vision. My hands and fingers grabbed. Next thing I know, I'm chopping things up. My blender is almost at capacity. My index finger presses a certain button and the wwwwhhhhhhiiiirrrrriiiinnnnnggg sound fills the air.
Magically before me is a 24 ounce smoothie drink consisting of the following:
1 beet, 1 apple, 1 carrot, a handful of spinach and a cup of an orange, peach, mango juice blend.
I've decided to call it the 'Turn Your Bad Day into a Good Day Smoothie' not because I was having a bad day per se...but because once you drink this amazing concoction, you can't help but feel really, really good... :0)
Next, dinner was upon me. Was totally having cravings of Mary's mushroom burger and decided that I had some components in my kitchen that can be combined together for either something just as delicious or even more scrumptious! I defied it all!
Perusing through my freezer, I decided to heat up the last of the tex mex burgers in my cast iron skillet. One teaspoon of butter melted first spread evenly throughout. Veggie burger on. Next up, chopping up 3 organic mushrooms (and don't forget to wash them thoroughly unless you enjoy dirt & grit when you bite down). Throw those in next to your veggie pattie. Lower heat slightly and cover. Shimmy over to the Romaine lettuce and give 'em a rinse. Then, shake shake shake. Literally. Set aside. Got your two slices of sprouted rye bread from Trader Joe's? No? Well, put your panties on and run to the store. Don't forget your shoes. We'll wait. If not, don't worry. Life is not over. Just whatever bread you have in the cupboard will do. I just have a preference, you see. Okay? All here? Let's proceed. I like my bread toasty toasty so I put mine in my toaster oven. If you're one of those weirdos that like untoasted bread just skip to the next part of the instructions. Get the veganaise, mustard and ketchup. And yes, organic, of course.
Check pattie. Flip over. Add 2-3 teaspoons of vegan mozzarella Daiya cheeze on top (the best vegan cheeze ever!). Stir & mix mushrooms. Wash dishes in the mean time. Text your friends. Twitter what you're having and spread the love of the Vegan yummyness. When toast is done, lather both sides w/ veganaise. Take one slice and put mustard on. Do the same with the other slice but w/ ketchup. Check pattie. Should be done. Place on top of either slice of bread. Can't choose? Do the Eeny Meeny Miny Mo thing. Or close your eyes and spin around.. but be careful not to fall into your unassembled, digestible piece of Art. Or you'll have a Ronald McDonald face. No bueno. Mushrooms go on top of pattie. Put it all together. Slice in half if you so desire.
Voila, my hungry readers...perfection right before your eyes. Bites of Heaven in your mouth.
I call it the "Zen Art Shimmy Sandwich".
Now. The 'D' word. Dessert.....the Dharma of Existence. Or the often repeated line of: you had me at melted chocolate stance. For some of you out there that are looking for new ways to 're-use'...well, add this one to your lists. I had a chocolate candy bar that, surprisingly, was not good so I put it in the fridge to be used later either to cut up as garnish, decor or to be melted. For this scenario, I chose the latter.
First, I poured about a 1/3 cup of rice milk in a saucepan on high heat. When it started to boil, I added the chocolate in broken chunks for a melted mess. While that was going on, I took a few organic strawberries, rinsed them thoroughly and sliced them into quarters. Then, I coaxed the vanilla rice dream ice cream out of the freezer to thaw out a bit. I saw that the chocolate sauce was done so I scooped up a tablespoon into a small glass bowl and took some of the strawberry pieces placing them on top of the chocolate. Hope you didn't forget about the ice cream! Pile about 3 scoops right there on top of the strawberries and continue 'layering' until your eyes are ready to bulge out of their sockets. I also wanted to mix it up and put in a few scoops of Mudd Pie ice cream to bring out the colors more.
-Take spoon and do one of the following:
(a) pretend you are in The Matrix. You are Keanu Reeves. Wait. No, you're Neo. Okay. Fine. You're Trinity (Carrie Ann Moss). Better? Okay. Remember that spoon scene? Yeah, take spoon in dominate hand. Use mind to bend spoon....there is no spoon...there is no spoon...there..is...no....spoon...
OR
(b) realize that you're right smack dab in the Middle World with a delectable, amazing Vegan dessert that magically manifested by the sheer will of your imagination (hey, it can totally happen) and all you have to do is....ready?
Dig in.
Oh. My. What a dilemma.
Choose wisely.
Personally, I say fuck the Blue pill...
I'm going in for the kill...
like my Chocolate mustache?
;0)
P.S.
I call this orgasmic sensual playground for your solar plexus,
"I'm too busy right now to answer your call" dessert.
Yeahhh....no explanation needed.
I woke up around noon and layed out in front of the heater as per ritual most mornings. I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat/drink first thing when I awoke but certain things kept popping up in my mind like a dream. Certain fruits and veggies kept floating towards me. Enticing and teasing me it seemed...
I stood up. Toe to heel. Walking w/ invisible high heels on. I was determined to make something yummy. Flashbacks of what I purchased from the farmer's market in Ojai came into vision. My hands and fingers grabbed. Next thing I know, I'm chopping things up. My blender is almost at capacity. My index finger presses a certain button and the wwwwhhhhhhiiiirrrrriiiinnnnnggg sound fills the air.
Magically before me is a 24 ounce smoothie drink consisting of the following:
1 beet, 1 apple, 1 carrot, a handful of spinach and a cup of an orange, peach, mango juice blend.
I've decided to call it the 'Turn Your Bad Day into a Good Day Smoothie' not because I was having a bad day per se...but because once you drink this amazing concoction, you can't help but feel really, really good... :0)
Next, dinner was upon me. Was totally having cravings of Mary's mushroom burger and decided that I had some components in my kitchen that can be combined together for either something just as delicious or even more scrumptious! I defied it all!
Perusing through my freezer, I decided to heat up the last of the tex mex burgers in my cast iron skillet. One teaspoon of butter melted first spread evenly throughout. Veggie burger on. Next up, chopping up 3 organic mushrooms (and don't forget to wash them thoroughly unless you enjoy dirt & grit when you bite down). Throw those in next to your veggie pattie. Lower heat slightly and cover. Shimmy over to the Romaine lettuce and give 'em a rinse. Then, shake shake shake. Literally. Set aside. Got your two slices of sprouted rye bread from Trader Joe's? No? Well, put your panties on and run to the store. Don't forget your shoes. We'll wait. If not, don't worry. Life is not over. Just whatever bread you have in the cupboard will do. I just have a preference, you see. Okay? All here? Let's proceed. I like my bread toasty toasty so I put mine in my toaster oven. If you're one of those weirdos that like untoasted bread just skip to the next part of the instructions. Get the veganaise, mustard and ketchup. And yes, organic, of course.
Check pattie. Flip over. Add 2-3 teaspoons of vegan mozzarella Daiya cheeze on top (the best vegan cheeze ever!). Stir & mix mushrooms. Wash dishes in the mean time. Text your friends. Twitter what you're having and spread the love of the Vegan yummyness. When toast is done, lather both sides w/ veganaise. Take one slice and put mustard on. Do the same with the other slice but w/ ketchup. Check pattie. Should be done. Place on top of either slice of bread. Can't choose? Do the Eeny Meeny Miny Mo thing. Or close your eyes and spin around.. but be careful not to fall into your unassembled, digestible piece of Art. Or you'll have a Ronald McDonald face. No bueno. Mushrooms go on top of pattie. Put it all together. Slice in half if you so desire.
Voila, my hungry readers...perfection right before your eyes. Bites of Heaven in your mouth.
I call it the "Zen Art Shimmy Sandwich".
Now. The 'D' word. Dessert.....the Dharma of Existence. Or the often repeated line of: you had me at melted chocolate stance. For some of you out there that are looking for new ways to 're-use'...well, add this one to your lists. I had a chocolate candy bar that, surprisingly, was not good so I put it in the fridge to be used later either to cut up as garnish, decor or to be melted. For this scenario, I chose the latter.
First, I poured about a 1/3 cup of rice milk in a saucepan on high heat. When it started to boil, I added the chocolate in broken chunks for a melted mess. While that was going on, I took a few organic strawberries, rinsed them thoroughly and sliced them into quarters. Then, I coaxed the vanilla rice dream ice cream out of the freezer to thaw out a bit. I saw that the chocolate sauce was done so I scooped up a tablespoon into a small glass bowl and took some of the strawberry pieces placing them on top of the chocolate. Hope you didn't forget about the ice cream! Pile about 3 scoops right there on top of the strawberries and continue 'layering' until your eyes are ready to bulge out of their sockets. I also wanted to mix it up and put in a few scoops of Mudd Pie ice cream to bring out the colors more.
-Take spoon and do one of the following:
(a) pretend you are in The Matrix. You are Keanu Reeves. Wait. No, you're Neo. Okay. Fine. You're Trinity (Carrie Ann Moss). Better? Okay. Remember that spoon scene? Yeah, take spoon in dominate hand. Use mind to bend spoon....there is no spoon...there is no spoon...there..is...no....spoon...
OR
(b) realize that you're right smack dab in the Middle World with a delectable, amazing Vegan dessert that magically manifested by the sheer will of your imagination (hey, it can totally happen) and all you have to do is....ready?
Dig in.
Oh. My. What a dilemma.
Choose wisely.
Personally, I say fuck the Blue pill...
I'm going in for the kill...
like my Chocolate mustache?
;0)
P.S.
I call this orgasmic sensual playground for your solar plexus,
"I'm too busy right now to answer your call" dessert.
Yeahhh....no explanation needed.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The Dance
*This is one of a few stories revolving around my travels in Scotland. It will be featured in the next Volume of my indie zine: Shed Your Skin. Keep you posted...*
Stan reminds me of a gnome. His hair is snow white and if only he wore a pointy red hat...he would be a walking, taller version of that mythical being I've read many stories about.
We all enter the ballroom with some anticipation. This exercise, The Sacred Dance, would be our first event we would be participating in for Experience Week.
Stan gives us the origin and summary of the Sacred Dance. With each new dance part, he explains the story behind it. With each new dance, I'm laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I'm having a difficult time dancing per instructed but I'm enjoying myself nonetheless (I was never really good at dancing in time like waltzes and such. I'm much more comfortable doing free-form dance).
Towards the end, he plays this sweet melody (Canon in D by Pachelbel) and we form a circle. Each of us puts our right hand on the right shoulder of the person in front of us. We are then instructed to take 3 steps forward and one step back.
I smile and think about the symbolism behind this particular dance. As I concentrate on trying to move in sync with the music, I notice Franco dancing with his eyes closed. I mimic him just to see how it feels and I'm in awe of the warmth I sense. I'm comforted and I feel like I'm floating and flying at the same time. I notice Steve has his eyes closed and John does as well. In fact, I'm sure Stan and Zach have their eyes closed, too.
My smile stays and goes inward. It helps me to remember words that were whispered to me at a young age. I remember fear and doubt. To not trust men. I remember feeling used and only looked upon with lust. And I remember darkness and feeling chilled to the bone..........
and only wanting to be soothed, comforted and loved....to feel safe...to feel warmth............to have this emptiness be filled with joy...
And I'm blurry eyed, looking for the box of tissues. The ballroom is almost empty with Breeze talking to Stan and Zach collecting his things. I gravitate towards the huge window that overlooks the area near the woods and I allow the tears to fall. There is no fight left.
The chatter inside that hardly relents is moving like a tornado. My need for a hug is quite great and Zach intuitively senses what I silently asked for. His arms and love are a welcome, comforting gift to a little girl so used to keeping people at bay.
Zach leaves to join the others for lunch and Breeze looks, questioning my face. I reassure her with a nod and tell her that I wanted to talk to Stan. She nods in response and leaves as well.
I say to Stan, "Can you please play that last piece of music for me...one more time?"
He stares at me intently for a good minute and simply bows, switches on the stereo, then leaves the ballroom.
When the music fills the room again, I allow everything else to slip away. My arms, hands and entire body move with the music alongside my emotions. It tells its own story of love and loss, sorrow and joy, confusion and understanding. And as I move with the intent to release, my spirit and heart applaud the performance...always remembering that sometimes there's just a need...................................
to dance for no one else..................................
..............................to dance just for me.................................
Stan reminds me of a gnome. His hair is snow white and if only he wore a pointy red hat...he would be a walking, taller version of that mythical being I've read many stories about.
We all enter the ballroom with some anticipation. This exercise, The Sacred Dance, would be our first event we would be participating in for Experience Week.
Stan gives us the origin and summary of the Sacred Dance. With each new dance part, he explains the story behind it. With each new dance, I'm laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I'm having a difficult time dancing per instructed but I'm enjoying myself nonetheless (I was never really good at dancing in time like waltzes and such. I'm much more comfortable doing free-form dance).
Towards the end, he plays this sweet melody (Canon in D by Pachelbel) and we form a circle. Each of us puts our right hand on the right shoulder of the person in front of us. We are then instructed to take 3 steps forward and one step back.
I smile and think about the symbolism behind this particular dance. As I concentrate on trying to move in sync with the music, I notice Franco dancing with his eyes closed. I mimic him just to see how it feels and I'm in awe of the warmth I sense. I'm comforted and I feel like I'm floating and flying at the same time. I notice Steve has his eyes closed and John does as well. In fact, I'm sure Stan and Zach have their eyes closed, too.
My smile stays and goes inward. It helps me to remember words that were whispered to me at a young age. I remember fear and doubt. To not trust men. I remember feeling used and only looked upon with lust. And I remember darkness and feeling chilled to the bone..........
and only wanting to be soothed, comforted and loved....to feel safe...to feel warmth............to have this emptiness be filled with joy...
And I'm blurry eyed, looking for the box of tissues. The ballroom is almost empty with Breeze talking to Stan and Zach collecting his things. I gravitate towards the huge window that overlooks the area near the woods and I allow the tears to fall. There is no fight left.
The chatter inside that hardly relents is moving like a tornado. My need for a hug is quite great and Zach intuitively senses what I silently asked for. His arms and love are a welcome, comforting gift to a little girl so used to keeping people at bay.
Zach leaves to join the others for lunch and Breeze looks, questioning my face. I reassure her with a nod and tell her that I wanted to talk to Stan. She nods in response and leaves as well.
I say to Stan, "Can you please play that last piece of music for me...one more time?"
He stares at me intently for a good minute and simply bows, switches on the stereo, then leaves the ballroom.
When the music fills the room again, I allow everything else to slip away. My arms, hands and entire body move with the music alongside my emotions. It tells its own story of love and loss, sorrow and joy, confusion and understanding. And as I move with the intent to release, my spirit and heart applaud the performance...always remembering that sometimes there's just a need...................................
to dance for no one else..................................
..............................to dance just for me.................................
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