Saturday, June 2, 2012

Better Late Than Never...

I know we haven't spoken in awhile. And I'm sorry. I know I've been distracted by a lot of things: work, relationships, social engagements, etc. I've been thinking it's been long overdue. Our talk. This talk. 

It hasn't been easy. The Path that's been chosen. It feels as though every turn taken, every choice made feels almost like a mistake at first...especially if there's some kind of pain felt either during and/or after the process. 

What I want to say is this: 
inside every cell in your body resides the deep and inner wisdom required to learn from that which you have experienced. From each moment you have fallen, from every attempt you 'failed' at, from all the times your heart was broken, from those pinnacle minutes where you doubted whether you can continue or not...

Well...

You're still Here. And you are the stronger for it. 

Each and every one of us 
has the power to live 
the Life 
we were meant to Live, 
be the person we were meant to be.

And I can't tell you how proud I am. 
At how far you've come. 
At the beautiful Being you Are. 

And the next time you have one of those nights 
when it's especially quiet and lonesome, 
when you're thinking 
you can no longer go any further...
think of this moment...
the morning 
after an evening of nightmares 
where you dreamed of a Love 
gone away for good...
and you awoke 
to the dawn of a new Day...
and you lived through it.  

You were meant to be 
Here 
so don't squander 
and waste your Time 
with regret or nonsense.  

Live each moment 
of your pure Existence 
with 
Bliss, 
Gratitude 
and 
Wonderment 

for it truly is 
a miracle 
in and of itself.  

This gift we've all been given.  

The Breath of Life...

Infinitesimal


We live in a World
filled with
wonder
as well as
strife.

To some,
all one
can experience
are
the jaws of hunger,
an appetite
never satiated
or the errors
of many...

And to another,

it's a passing moment
as if
painted
like a
picturesque postcard..
a delicate beauty
that lasts
a second
yet
fills your
very Essence
and Spirit
for all Eternity...

A Universal Gift
of Life
and
of Free Will...

Friday, June 1, 2012

Mirage

There was a moment,
a second
where I understood you.

A comment,
a joke
inappropriate
but perfect
followed by
an awkward silence
where one tries to
forget
or
remember
changing the subject
entirely
attempting to fill the air
with false normalcy
a fantastic mirage
veiling unhappiness
and
unwelcomed misery.

It was then
I realized that
it was not merely
Love
I had for you
but
so much more
and so much less
than this poem
conveys.

The Bridge

I looked out the window of my bedroom and saw a patch of blue sky.  I had a glimmer of hope for the morning was filled with a dull grey that influenced my usual upbeat demeanor.  In that instant, I surmised that sun would inevitably be present.  I rushed out and headed towards the sea. The air was crisp and my earlier enthusiasm was stripped at the sight of the onslaught of clouds and their appetite for anything with color.
I followed the river to the sea, making great care to not disturb any golfers walking about.  Thankfully, none were out.  A jagged rock that was shaped like a dinosaur (Pako would have been pleased) called to me so I made my way slowly, concentrating on my footing and followed the invisible path of rocks, green moss and various sea life.
I said my greeting and made myself at home.  It was a gracious spot and the view was a reminder of how far away home was.  I told this rock intimate parts of my day (and the previous night) and was met with an instantaneous comfort.  I made another new friend.  He listened patiently as well as graciously and I made a promise to visit again soon.  I began traipsing back and crossed a few bridges, then climbed my way up the wooden staircase of rock and mud.  My mind was clearer and my heart less heavy but something still needed to be done.
This last bridge (near the big horn) silenced my steps and caused me to pause, my head lifting towards the sky in hesitation.  A voice came forth from the waters that were rushing from either side of the crossing.  My entire body was still and present with anticipation.

"This bridge represents where you are in Life.  The waters rush forth, raging silently with fluidity, reminding you of stillness and chaos.  They can exist in one breath, in an instant that never stays the same.  Listen to the Water.  Allow the sounds to fill you up and release what you need to let go of.  As you stand in the Center of this Crossing, water on either side of you, remember to leave your past behind you.  Do not look back.  Move forward toward the Present.  Move forward with no fear...into the Unknown."

I then began to remember various exercises utilizing visual imagery and certain psychological practices to help cope with emotional duress and receiving closure concerning relationships.  My former lovers flashed before my eyes from the most recent to the very first.  Hearts filled with light flashed quickly.  Smiles and tears were felt.  Warmness glowed within my entire body and an immersion as well as lightness was felt.  Faster and faster, the images flickered before me like a movie reel and within minutes, I had crossed over.  The Bridge was now behind me and I daresay...

I did not look back.


Here. In My Head.

Here.
In my head.
I've written to you,
whispered to you,
secrets...
stories...
I've wept
on your shoulder
with no fear
of a farewell.

Here.
In my head.
Your love
I can see
quite clearly
in your eyes,
reflecting
what is in
my own.

Here.
In my head.
We laugh
and play
and talk late
into the night,
snuggled
and cuddled,
while I take up
all the room
on the bed.
Covers, too.

Here.
In my head.
I'm not afraid
of loving you.